


in bloom

by applepi0



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Im sorry i dont know how 2 find one LMAO, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, literally this started as me just self projecting LMAO, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22216987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applepi0/pseuds/applepi0
Summary: ↬ where flowers bloom, so does hope.or, kenma finds himself falling for a certain orange-haired spiker.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first long-term fic kinda?? im super excited for this and ahh !! kenhina is just my favorite ship ever and i really wanted to giving writing them a fic a go :,)
> 
> just a warning ! i do go into detail describingKenma's anxiety, so if thats trigger for you please don't read! Kenma's anxiety is a big part of this fic, so if you miss one scene you might miss part of the story
> 
> i hope u have fun reading ! <3

The Sun is burning through the skin on the back of his neck, fiery and unrelenting in its ways. He feels sweat building up along his hairline, sticky and uncomfortable. His chest feels tight as he struggles to breathe. The air around him is thin, and it’s completely useless for his aching lungs. Kenma brings a hand to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart through his sweater, trying to find a rhythm to focus on, to help him get anchored.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he hears Kuroo talking. It echoes, and it takes Kenma to realize that his friend is talking to him. It feels like he’s listening to him from underwater.

“You don’t look so hot,” Kuroo says, and Kenma feels his glance fizzle and dance on his skin, penetrating through his layers. It takes a second for Kenma to respond. He lets out a shaky breath and shakes his head slowly.

“There are a lot more people here, now,” the smaller boy says, voice dry, crossing his arms across his chest. He sees Kuroo frown from the corner of his eyes. Kenma feels a twang of guilt in his heart and he forces himself to look away from Kuroo. He senses his cheeks taint further with the ugly shades of embarrassment and he feels himself starting his downwards spiral.

_why did i agree to this, why didn’t i expect this, why why why?_

And then Kenma feels the startling touch of Kuroo’s hand on his shoulder. He flinches at the contact, but he looks up and locks eyes with him.

“Let’s go home, Kenma,” Kuroo says, eyes soft and understanding and _pitying_. It makes Kenma feel dizzy and faint. 

Kenma looks past Kuroo and at the Sun, still high in the sky. He feels everyone’s eyes on him, he feels everyone’s warmth surrounding him. He can feel it on his cheeks as he faces the Sun, and he feels his eyes watering and he can’t help but feel _bad,_ but he figures guilty salvation is better than this. Anything over this.

Kenma gives the smallest of nods and closes his eyes, following Kuroo as he leads the way out of the crowd.

* * *

Kenma remembers when it was easier to deal with. It used to come in waves.

Like the waves when the high tide came. It used to lap at his toes, tickle his skin, reminding him, _I’m still here_ , as if asking for his attention. Kenma ignored it as best as he could, back when it used to be a blanket of foam on his shoulders, heavy but bearable. It drowned him, gently; it gave him time, time to prepare for the storm.

Now, it carries the wrath of the Sun. It’s hot and blistering on his neck. It overwhelms his body with heat from Hell itself, and pulls the breath right out of his lungs. It feels like a hot ball of flames lodged in his throat, making it dry and robbing him of the words to explain himself. His veins gush with warm heat, heat his body can’t handle; it leaves him struggling to stay still and sane.

It no longer asked for his attention. No, it _demanded_ it.

Kenma felt like he had no other choice but to give it its’ way.

* * *

The train home is quiet besides the rumbling of the tracks and the quiet murmurs of others aboard. The train is just as crowded as the park, but Kenma wills himself to pull through. _It’ll be over soon_ , he tells himself as taps his foot anxiously and squeezes his phone in his hand. Besides him, he sees Kuroo rapidly texting someone on his phone, looking bored. A quick glance tells him it's a teammate.

Kuroo catches Kenma’s glance and raises his eyebrows. _Need something?_ He seems to ask. His eyes linger for longer than Kenma likes. 

_Yes,_ Kenma thinks, head pounding, feeling his eyes glazing over as he tries to focus on the tan of Kuroo’s skin. _I need you to stay quiet about this. Please don’t question me when we get back home. Please let this die down. Please don’t think of me as a burden. Please forgive me for inconveniencing you again._

Kuroo blinks, awaiting a response. Kenma shakes his head and darts his eyes down at his hands. 

The train stops abruptly. He keeps his head down as he hears people entering and leaving the train.

Suddenly, a bubbly voice from in front of him is forcing him to look up.

And then there it is in front of him, glowing in all its glory; The Sun.


	2. chapter two

Kenma feels like he’s looking straight into a floodlight. The boy in front of him is bright, and his smile nearly takes up half his face, childish and innocent. He blinks, confused. _He’s not talking to me, right?_ Kenma asks, feeling his heart’s beat spike.

And then he realizes the boy is looking at Kuroo. He feels a chill of relief run through his veins.

“Hey, I know you! You’re that scary middle blocker from Nekoma!” He exclaims, and Kenma finds himself wishing the boy was a little bit more quieter; he sees people glancing towards them. He tries to bury himself further into his sweater.

_Please don’t encourage him,_ Kenma finds himself mentally pleading to Kuroo. Of course, Kuroo isn’t a mind reader.

“Yeah, you’re that shorty from Karasuno! Funny finding you here,” Kuroo says with a catlike grin. 

Kenma watches as the boy pouts at the word _shorty_ but he lightens up quickly and directs his attention to Kenma. “Hey, can I sit here?”

Kenma feels himself freeze under his eyes, unable to tear himself away from the boy’s gaze. His eyes shine and he sees specks of yellow swimming in a sea of golden brown. 

“Sure,” Kenma responds in a daze, blinking. He watches as the boy’s face splits into a grin and suddenly Kenma feels regret starting to pool up in his gut. He glances over at the boy as he takes a seat next to him. He prays that he won’t try for any more interaction, that the ride will be quiet from now on until the boy speaks up again.

“My name is Hinata Shouyou!” He says with a smile. Kenma nods and responds quietly, “Kenma. Kenma Kozume.”

Kenma curses himself again for encouraging the boy yet again, but he can’t seem to stop himself; something is pulling him towards Hinata like a magnet. 

“Do you like volleyball as well?” the boy says, his eyes hopeful. They are big and bright, and Kenma finds himself trying to count the specks of yellow in his eyes.

Kenma manages to break his gaze away before he stares for too long and considers lying to the boy for a second. Then he looks back at the boy, still patiently awaiting an answer, and decides to come clean. “I do,” he says hesitantly before continuing, “I used to play as setter.”

Kenma feels a nudge from Kuroo’s side and he knows Kuroo is just as surprised as him.

He watches as Hinata’s eyes go wide and a beam breaks out onto his face.

“That’s so cool, Kenma!” He exclaims, completely genuine. He’s sitting up, with his hands in his lap, looking at Kenma as if he’s hung the moon in the sky. It brings a light shade of pink to his cheeks, and his feels his heart quicken under his eyes. But it feels different from his normal anxiety; it feels like a thrumming in his chest. He finds himself wanting more of Hinata’s attention, strangely enough.

“You’re completely different from the setter on my team!” Hinata continues, “He’s all _grrr_ and _dumbass Hinata!_ I try as hard as I can and all he does is yell at me! All he says is _Boke! Boke!_ He treats me like a dog.” He whines, and Kenma finds it endearing before he finds it childish. He feels himself cracking a small smile. He notices Hinata’s eyes glance down at Kenma’s lips.

Hinata beams again and Kenma tries to recount all the times he has smiled in the past few minutes. He gets the feeling that he smiles a lot. He wonders if it hurts.

Encouraged, Hinata continues even further, “But he’s super good! I _really_ want to get on his level! And he’s _so_ good at setting, I can practically hit all his sets with my eyes closed!” Kenma watches Hinata’s hands as they move around, emphasizing his words. Kenma finds himself smiling as he does so.

Kenma raises his eyebrows in response when the boy stops talking, egging Hinata on. He grins in response.

“Maybe you should play with us sometime! I bet Kageyama would love to play with someone like you!” Hinata says excitedly and Kenma feels his heart beat quicken nervously. He assumes Kageyama is the setter that Hinata was talking about earlier.

“I bet Kenma would love to play with you sometime,” Kuroo intervenes, and as much as Kenma loves his best friend, he finds himself wishing that Kuroo would just _stop existing_ , _dammit._

Hinata smiles at Kuroo, but looks back at Kenma for an answer. Kenma feels something growing in his throat and tries to open his mouth to speak, but finds that his words are caught. He closes his mouth, swallows, and gives a small nod. 

Hinata grins yet again and Kenma finds himself captivated.

“We should trade numbers then, to make sure we’re able to stay in touch!” Hinata suggests, pulling out his phone. A small volleyball charm swings out as he does so. Kenma feels his heart pinch at the sight and he gives a small smile.

Hinata quickly gives Kenma his phone and waits expectantly. Kenma pauses, trying to remember his number. _How long has it been since I’ve last given someone my digits?_ He finds himself asking as he punches in numbers onto the phone.

He hands back Hinata his phone and watches as the boy starts typing rapidly.

About twenty seconds later, his phone is vibrating in his lap. He opens it and sees a flurry of exclamation points and kaomojis staring at him in the face. Kenma laughs, and it sounds different than it normally does; it felt bubbly and sweet.

He looked over at Hinata, only to find the boy’s face is a bright pink. _He looks really pretty,_ Kenma thinks to himself, _but why is he staring at me like that?_

Hinata blinks, and squawks. “Sorry!” He says, waving his arms around. Kenma smiles at him.

He looks back down at his phone and before he can type in Hinata’s name, Hinata’s speaking again.

“Save my name as Shouyou,” Hinata says softly, smiling shyly. Soft is a good look on him, Kenma thinks to himself as he types in _shouyou_ into his phone. His heart feels full.

Kenma and Kuroo end up leaving the train before Shouyou does. In the time spent before that, Kenma finds himself engaged and captivated with Shouyou’s words, his voice, his _smile._ The heat that was burning viciously at his neck is gone before he knows in, and in its place, a pleasant heat on his cheek arises alongside an excited humming in his chest. He feels _excited,_ for _something,_ and suddenly, Kenma finds that time is passing too fast for the both of them. Kenma doesn’t even realize that the train has stopped until he feels Kuroo’s hand on his shoulder.

“Well, sorry to break up the party, but this is our stop,” Kuroo announces, standing up. Kenma looks up at him and sighs. He stands up and turns to look down at Shouyou.

“Goodbye, Shouyou,” he says with a gentle smile. He watches as Shouyou’s pout blossoms into a beam. “Bye, Kenma! I can’t wait until our match!”

“I’ll be sure to make you desperate,” Shouyou adds, voice cool, and Kenma feels a chill run down his spine as he hears those words and locks his eyes with Shouyou’s. They are still bright, but they are colder, determined. They are giving off a different type of light than the one Kenma has already grown accustomed with.

“Bye, Chibi-chan!” Kuroo says, grabbing onto Kenma’s shoulders to lead him away. Kenma snaps out of his daze. He complies with a grumble and they walk onto the platform. Kenma hears the door close behind him but he doesn’t dare look back. He feels Kuroo’s analyzing gaze on his skin, but he can’t bring himself to care; he feels _giddy_ and _joyful._ He feels… like he’s spent the afternoon basking in the sunlight. 

“You had fun,” Kuroo muses, stepping away from Kenma, probably thinking he’s said something smart. Kenma feigns annoyance and looks over at the taller boy. “Couldn’t you tell? I had a _terrible_ time, ” Kenma tries to spit out, but the venom in his voice isn’t enough to keep Kuroo from grinning at him like a madman. 

“Kenma, you can’t lie to me. You guys are practically soulmates,” Kuroo teases, bending over to look at Kenma. 

He rolls his eyes, but Kenma feels his chest tighten when Kuroo says soulmates.

“He’s interesting,” the pudding-haired boy admits with a small smile that doesn’t escape Kuroo’s eyes, and the rest of the walk home is silent. His mind is racing with thoughts of strawberries and sunshine and ethereal light.

_Maybe the Sun isn’t always that bad,_ Kenma finds himself thinking.

* * *

The moment Kenma opens his phone, he is bombarded with dozens of messages. All from Shouyou.

He walks to his room and closes the door behind him. He hears Kuroo yelling not to stay in his room to long, but his message goes to deaf ears as Kenma excitedly opens his messages to text Shouyou back. He lets himself smile as he reads over the messages.

_S_ : kenma !!

 _S:_ it was so much fun riding the train with u!!! 

_S:_ I can't wait to see u again! ヾ(≧∇≦*)ゝ

 _S:_ what school do u go to btw ??

 _S:_ i’m assuming u go to nekoma with that scary dude

 _S:_ are u good with english, kenma? cause i'm failing rn ! (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 _S:_ we should have study sessions together ! I bet ur so smart !!

 _S:_ sorry for the spam, but i gotta go ! kageyama is sending me a dirty look ヾ( ๑´д`๑)ﾂ

Kenma found himself smiling as he read over the messages over and over again.

_K:_ yes, i do go to nekoma

 _K:_ have fun at practice, shouyou

Kenma drops his phone onto his chest and closes his eyes, feeling his chest swell with something he’s never felt before.

He falls asleep to the hum of the fan spinning above him.

* * *

Kenma wakes up to the buzz of his phone going off besides him. He groans and turns over, pulling a cover over his body.

Kuroo knocks on his door and he sticks his head through the crack of the door. “Going out to a friend’s. Food is in the fridge and I left money on the counter if you want something else,” he says, softly.

Kenma sits up and nods. He can’t see Kuroo’s face in the dark, but he senses that his friend is smiling. 

The door closes and Kenma lies down again, staring into the darkness of his room. He’s far too awake now to fall back asleep. He whines and closes his eyes.

His phone buzzes again.

He lets out a sigh and fumbles for his phone. When he finds it, he brings it to his face and reads over messages from Kuroo and Shouyou. Kuroo’s messages are messages reminding him to eat while he’s gone and that an exam is coming up.

Shoouyou’s messages are the most recent.

_S:_!!! thank u !

 _S:_ kageyama was mean like always today (っ- ‸ – ς)

 _S:_ but it was super fun ! we got to play against the girls team and it was super cool!

 _S:_ AND!! we got pork buns afterwards !

One more message quickly follows afterwards.

_S:_ i wish you were there though ꒰๑•̥﹏•̥๑꒱

Kenma stared at the message, fingers hovering over his keyboard, unsure as to how to respond. He found himself rewriting his message at least five times before he finally settled on a response.

_K:_ it sounds like you had a good time, shouyou. happy to hear it.

 _K:_ i would’ve liked to have been there as well

Kenma isn’t sure as to how true that is, but he knew it was at least halfway true; he just wanted to be near Shouyou. To hear his laugh again, to bask in his sunshine again.

To watch him play.

He watches as dots appear on the screen. He waits patiently for a response; it doesn’t take long.

_S:_ come to school with me kenma !! (٭°̧̧̧꒳°̧̧̧٭)

Kenma feels a laugh bubble up in his chest and slip from his lips. It feels pure, like it did back on the train. 

After calming down, he sends back a response.

_K:_ I’ll consider it 

_S:_ GAHHH kenma really??? 

_S:_ u can make school so much moree fun for me !! we might even have some classes together ! （=´∇｀=）

 _K:_ i’m joking, hinata

 _S:_ kenmaaaaa , dont break my heart like this !! ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

Kenma laughs again. He hears the door creak open as his cat walks in. Pudding strides in and hops onto Kenma’s lap, pushing her head against his hand. On impulse, he sends a picture of Pudding to Shouyou.

_K:_ would she be able to heal your heart? :)

Immediately, an influx of keyboard smashes comes flooding in. Kenma smiles down at his phone, reading as Shouyou gushes over his cat illegibly.

_S:_ I can’t wait to meet her one day !!

 _S:_ she reminds me of u kenma ! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

 _S:_ pretty and soft <3

Kenma falls asleep, with Shouyou’s words in his head, and somehow, in his heart. 

* * *

Kenma wakes up in the middle of the night. Pudding is sleeping on the corner of his bed, the moonlight filtering through his window falling on her fur. He scratches the back of her ear softly before standing up and heading into the kitchen to eat.

He sees Kuroo fast asleep on his couch and he scrunches his nose; it looks like he’ll have to deal with a hungover Kuroo in the morning.

He moves into the kitchen quietly, and makes himself a bowl of cereal. He glances at the counter and notices that his medicine in not in the cabinet like it normally was; Kuroo must’ve been checking if he needed a refill. 

Kenma sighs and brings his bowl back into his room, ignoring Kuroo’s snores as he passed by.

He climsb into bed, making sure not to tip over the milk in his bowl or to bother Pudding. He searches for his phone and checks his messages as he eats.

It’s 2:43. He has messages from Shouyou.

Kenma feels a pinch of guilt in his chest as he opens the messages; he fell asleep and left Shouyou hanging.

_S:_ the whole thing was super cool! You shouldve seen their blocker they were all like!!

 _S:_ bwAAHH !! yk !!

 _S:_ i think we are set to fight against them again soon but idk

 _S:_ awww did u fall asleep kenma? no fair ლ(｡-﹏-｡ ლ)

 _S:_ well i hope u sleep well ! goodnight kenma ! (⁎⁍̴̀﹃ ⁍̴́⁎)♡

Kenma makes sure to send one last message before he finishes his meal and falls asleep.

  
_K:_ goodnight, shouyou <3


End file.
